PREFACE: Before you read this PARTICULAR post on my blog let me just restate that it is an excerpt from a Facebook conversation, and nothing specific caused this rant, I just happened to be feeling chatty and went off on a tangent. I took a few minutes to edit it down into a more standard format rather than having my friend's response, my curses, and "lols" throughout; however it may still come off as rambling and there seems to be a sudden topic change at the end that was brought about by one of my friend's responses. In all honesty, I have had this saved for a while in preparation for a day like today where I wanted to post but had not the energy to write a whole one out. All in all I feel it's a great read. Enjoy!
It may may not seem like it in person, but im all eyes and ears. i pay attention to the world around me and therefore I am able to predict the outcome of situations with extreme accuracy. What sucks is that I will never be able to unbias myself and take a step back and tell myself what I am doing wrong. It is my firmly held belief that the human brain just is not meant for that kind of critical thinking. It is one thing to make a lifetime habit of noting peoples actions, behaviors, and the outcomes of those situations depending on the order of events involved. It is something completely different to shut down one's ego, remove all sentiments from the picture, and judge one's self as if judging a stranger at the mall. Because the fact still remains that you're YOU, you know every facet of your personality to a T and whether or not you like it, you have learned to live with it, so if you're alive you probably like yourself at least enough to not commit suicide.
Therefore you are emotionally attached to the person known as you, and no matter what the situation at hand is, you feel you deserve the best, and you can rationalize if you lose. You will say"Well, at least there's always tomorrow" or be negative and say, "I didnt want that whatever whatever anyways" or what have you.
No matter what, though, you're always a little upset with yourself.
In essence, we just have a roadblock on the synapse that connects the thinking center in our brain to whatever part controls self reflection. Some believe the only point one CAN achieve such insights is on psychedelic drugs, but at that point, who's to say how good your suggestions and advice for yourself would be anyways. Truth be told, its not a great idea to be taking heavy psychedelics with major issues anyways, because it can really awaken your demons especially in the mentally unsound (which most people are).
In compensation for our lack of that particular skill, we have insight, hindsight, and foreshadowing. Insight being taking note of the situation at hand, hindsight being analyzing those notes, recognizing your errors, and then using them to foreshadow how the event will play out next time you occur such a fiasco. Trial and error too, if your expectations dont meet the reality of the outcome at the end of the situation, revise, and then refer to your new found information when you encounter that situation yet another time, until what you assume is going to happen is more or less the reality of how it actually goes down. That's how people get psychic jobs, acute observational skills, and the ability to quickly size up a possible customer everyone jumps to conclusions about people before they actually have exchanged even their first word "hello" with them. By the time a person walks across a room and speaks to you, you have more than likely already guessed what kind of movies they like, what their voice may sound like, what slang they may use, what they like to do in their free time. All by a split second of seeing their clothing, distinguishing marks and characteristics, and of course posture and body language.
Its also a firmly held belief of mine that rushing everything in life is one of the major causes of our loss of creativity and imagination when we reach adulthood. If people took the time to stop and try to see things as they did as a child, where the curb was actually a thin balance beam above a dangerous pit of lava, and if you fall its your fate. Or where you throw pillows on the floor so you dont touch the poisonous carpet. Or where you purposefully don't step on cracks. Or you do step on cracks if you're a jerk kid, to see if it breaks your mother's back.
If you're able to emotionally mature without hindering your outlook on life and all the wonderful joys, smells, and colors it has to offer, that is perfection. Unfortunately such a thing does not exist. Because at some point in your life someone is going to take joy from spoiling some of your childhood innocence.
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